Choosing You First 4 July 2019 - Choosing Something New

 

It has been a while since I posted here or made a new video. Life in Europe was much more intense and rough this trip. I was here a week and my husband went into the hospital not once but three times over the month. I spent half my time here in the hospital or doctor's offices or procedure rooms. 

This has been a cycle - a loop we can't escape - or can we? What I realize now is really I have zero control over any of this. I am aware of a lot of things that my husband can choose to stop this loop - but I can't make him do any of that. 

To watch someone you love choose something that is not going to make them healthier or feel better on a consistent basis is difficult for me. Is it for you? Knowing all I know and being aware even in my body of what is wrong with him and knowing what would be a contribution - I can only suggest anymore he do it and watch. 

This is a big lesson for me to learn - truly detach and let him handle his own stuff. We all do things that serve us on some level - consciously or unconsicously. We all have our own journeys to take. I don't like what he chooses but it is not my journey. 

What I can change is my response to this loop and his choices. The choices I have been making for a year and a half based on him or his needs or my need to take care of his needs - has to stop. When you keep doing what you've always done you will continue to get the same result. 

That no longer works for me. 

So I will return home in a few days and before I go, my target is to detach and stop trying to push/encourage/force/beg - whatever that energy is - for him to do what's necessary to stay out of the hospital. It is his choice. I am aware though of what may happen should he go back in again soon. But this is not my journey.

My invitation to you this week is to look at where you are functioning from. What choices are you trying to force/beg/encourage, etc. on someone else? What else could you choose to create your life in a new way? What lessons do you still have to learn and what things do you still need to let go of?

© 2019 Finding the Answers Journey

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