My Caregiver Journey 11 February 2019 - Seriously? There are Healthy People Outside my House?


The last week has not been one I have particularly enjoyed. I am a woman who almost never gets a cold. I haven't had the flu for at least 10 years. I do what I can to stay healthy and drink a tremendous amount of lemon water so I do not get sick. When I am sick, things do not get done and there is always a risk my husband will get sick and that could land him in the hospital.

My body in its infinite wisdom started not feeling quite right a weekend ago. I thought I had an energetic thing going on as there were geomagnetic storms happening. Johan's chemo was bumped by a week so it was to take place last Tuesday. Somehow I knew after we came home, I would probably be sick. I just did not expect the flu.

So the woman who almost never gets sick and feels guilty about taking full days off where she doesn't think about work had no choice but to sleep. I slept most of Wednesday through Saturday with one outing for groceries and another Friday for a short lunch. Hubby was not feeling well from chemo so he slept a lot too.

Today the sun started shining in the Netherlands and all week we are supposed to be 45 degrees or higher with sun! Now at the end of my flu and feeling pretty good, I took an hour long walk in Amsterdamse Bos.

Before I left, I told hubby my theme this week was something along the lines of 'There are healthy people outside our house?!' To this he laughed and started teasing me about the disaster I am with my Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer nose - a result of my flu. I responded that he was the lucky guy who got to marry me and all my flu-fabulousness! We had a big laugh over all of this.

Sleeping for so many days and doing little else gave me some awareness about life and our situation. Three big ones came up.

1. It has been 13 years since my twins were born that I felt the level of exhaustion I did the last week - and maybe 10 years since I last had the flu. I have a better understanding and (big reminder) of how hubby feels when his body is exhausted and he is worn out after taking a shower. I get it. I had forgotten and now I remember and I will be more conscious of this with him. Instead of being slightly irritated or feeling like he doesn't want to go do whatever we chose or need to do, I will be more understanding. I will also plan my time better while I wait for him to do all these things to get ready.

2. It is possible for me to take a full day or more off work and not think about work! I think next time I will do it without being sick. LOL!

3. There are healthy people outside my house and I am isolated again! Sometimes when we are stuck in the house too long we forget about the outside world.

This was not planned. I actually planned to meet a new friend for coffee last week until chemo was changed. Another friend who was sick the prior week wanted to reschedule but now I was sick. This week I am good and have plans to be out at least two days with a local doctor who is researching an officer from WWII and meet a new friend in Utrecht who is part of the Americans in the Netherlands group. This will be fun.

I was aware as I dreamt each night I was working out past life things and this life things. Stuff was shifting. I was slightly irritated that most nights around 2 a.m. I really needed a cup of tea and the people in my dreams would just not deliver. So I had to get up, get out of bed and do it myself. Don't you hate it when that happens? But I had my beautiful cats to keep me company while I drank my tea and could then return to bed.

My question for you this week is, Where are you self-isolating and may not have realized you did it? What if you HAD to isolate for a while? What are you doing to get back out into the big world?

We'd love to start a conversation in the comments.

© 2019 Jennifer Holik Finding the Answers Journey


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