There are so many ways to look at our genealogy and military family history in deeper ways than just compiling a family tree. The Genogram, a diagram outlining the history of the behavior patterns (as of divorce, abortion, or suicide) of a family over several generations, is one tool that can be useful to dive deeper into your past and also heal your present.
The best way to show you what a genogram looks like is to give you something interactive. View a short Genogram video depicting the Skywalker family from Star Wars.
Genograms can show us through various symbols showing relationships, births, marriages, deaths, patterns, and some biographical data, what is happening in a family at a point in time. Therapists use genograms to explore what a new client is dealing with at the time they start therapy. One nice thing about a genogram is it can be continually expanded as new information comes in or the therapy sessions...
Penny Walters has written an amazing book every genealogy and military research should read. It's called Ethical Dilemmas in Genealogy by Penny Walters.
Penny outlines many potential ethical dilemmas faced by genealogy and military researchers. A few include: How do we handle things like secrets uncovered? Knowledge of a DNA match to someone the family didn't know existed? How does a professional provide potentially emotionally damaging information to a client - or do they? Do you celebrate when you find a criminal in your family? These are only the tip of the iceberg.
How do we handle these things? Penny's book shows us how through numerous examples and case studies. Her book covers:
As a 20+ year genealogist and 10+ year military research professional, I...
Over the last few years I have begun studying different aspects of ancestral lineage healing, family patterns, family secrets, and other topics as they related to my military and family history. Many of my clients have also been seeking resources around these topics. I have one to suggest to those just dipping their toes into this pool. Healing Ancestral Karma by Dr. Steven Farmer
I discovered Dr. Farmer through The Shift Network when I received an email for his class "The 5 Ancestral Realms" in the fall of 2019. The class description gave a different view of working with the ancestors than Dr. Daniel Foor in his book and course (which I'm taking currently). After signing up for Dr. Farmer's course, I ordered his book. The book wasn't required for the course but contributed to what I was learning.
The book has short chapters which make absorbing the information easier. Reading the book I was also introduced to many others books, which of course I had to purchase, to add to my...
There is an incredible book The Survivors. A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing by Adam P. Frankel. I picked this book up to attempt to find another book I could use in my master class on war, inherited trauma, and healing. This book gave me a completely different view of healing than others I've read.
Whether you are from a family of Holocaust Survivors or not, the themes in this book speak to many of us. As Frankel tells his story we learn about identity, family secrets, family patterns, loyalty, grief & loss, survival, sexual secrets, mental illness, PTSD, shame, anger, familial behavior, and so many other themes associated with war, survival, the physical manifestations of keeping secrets, inherited trauma, and how we each have to choose our own path regardless of our family's choices. We also learn how his Jewish family, who survived the Holocaust, felt about loyalty and looking the other way on family secrets.
If you were to look at my copy of this book, you would...
How are you doing in this new year and decade? What is shifting for you? What new things have shown up? Where have you let go?
These are important questions to sit with as we navigate this fast-changing life we are now living.
To learn more about the free webinar on ancestral healing I mentioned, check it out here.
© 2020 Finding the Answers Journey & the WWII Research & Writing Center
Many of the clients who work with me over the last few years have sought deeper answers. They come to the research consultation with family stories, secrets, perhaps lies they discovered. They come with questions wondering who really was my father or mother? Sometimes the research itself provides secrets that were hidden for decades, or answers that change the perception a client has on their family member or even, themselves. This can cause grief, a sense of loss, sense of abandonment, trigger PTSD, and many other things.
We offer many research and writing services. Each project is customized for the client because each client has different needs.
Recently I began investigating the concept of Ancestral Trauma and Healing Ancestral Trauma in greater depth. I have spent almost eight years focused on healing my past issues from this life and others and healing my ancestral lineage. This focus on myself has allowed me to help military and family history clients with their journey as they discover things through research that were secrets or unspoken.
Family secrets, shame, guilt, negativity, abuse, trauma, fear, and other negative-based energies create a lot of blockages in our lives. They also create grief of which we may not always be aware until someone dies or we lose a job or have some other loss.
Healing Ancestral Trauma is also a topic most family and military history researchers avoid. It's kind of a taboo subject like admitting you can hear/see/smell/touch the spirits of our ancestors or other dead. However, when we do not address our family's trauma and baggage - we continue to carry it forward in our life and pass it...
I am excited to announce the launch of the self-paced version of my wildly successful master class, Your Family‘s War Journey: A Transformational Master Class.
It is vital to understand that while this course uses a book based on a WWII combat veteran’s experience and his daughter’s escape and healing journey, the themes, lessons, questions, resources, and discussions apply to any war and every family.
What people are saying.....This class enriched and transformed my World War II family research quest in ways I could not have imagined. Jennifer Holik is a gifted facilitator who helped me to unearth memories, make unexpected connections between past and present, and clarify the direction of my WWII project. Her extensive knowledge and rare intuition, along with the well-organized curriculum, created a warm and productive virtual environment for learning and sharing insights with a wonderful group of participants. As I move forward, I plan to make frequent use of...
The energies are intense the last week and will continue to be throughout most of July. We have eclipses, full moons, and several planets in retrograde. It is a time to consider what is holding us back and where we are ready to commit to change.
I've had a lot of "itchy" words show up in my universe lately like DISCIPLINE and STRUCTURE and ROUTINE. Why these bother me so much I'm not sure - but I am aware if I play with them in a new way and get rid of some old points of view (POV) then my entire reality and joy will change to something greater.
As I prepare to head back to Chicago after visiting my husband in Europe, I am ready for whatever is coming. Ready to shed the old and create the new. Ready to be more of who I truly be.
My invitation to you this week: Look at what's holding you back in your life. What words or energies keep showing up that are prickly and feel yucky or you have great resistance to. Spend some time exploring WHY this is and let that go. I wonder then how...
It has been a while since I posted here or made a new video. Life in Europe was much more intense and rough this trip. I was here a week and my husband went into the hospital not once but three times over the month. I spent half my time here in the hospital or doctor's offices or procedure rooms.
This has been a cycle - a loop we can't escape - or can we? What I realize now is really I have zero control over any of this. I am aware of a lot of things that my husband can choose to stop this loop - but I can't make him do any of that.
To watch someone you love choose something that is not going to make them healthier or feel better on a consistent basis is difficult for me. Is it for you? Knowing all I know and being aware even in my body of what is wrong with him and knowing what would be a contribution - I can only suggest anymore he do it and watch.
This is a big lesson for me to learn - truly detach and let him handle his own stuff. We all do things that serve us...