Choosing You First 8 July 2019 - The Intense Energies


The energies are intense the last week and will continue to be throughout most of July. We have eclipses, full moons, and several planets in retrograde. It is a time to consider what is holding us back and where we are ready to commit to change.

I've had a lot of "itchy" words show up in my universe lately like DISCIPLINE and STRUCTURE and ROUTINE. Why these bother me so much I'm not sure - but I am aware if I play with them in a new way and get rid of some old points of view (POV) then my entire reality and joy will change to something greater.

As I prepare to head back to Chicago after visiting my husband in Europe, I am ready for whatever is coming. Ready to shed the old and create the new. Ready to be more of who I truly be.

My invitation to you this week: Look at what's holding you back in your life. What words or energies keep showing up that are prickly and feel yucky or you have great resistance to. Spend some time exploring WHY this is and let that go. I wonder then how...

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Choosing You First 4 July 2019 - Choosing Something New


It has been a while since I posted here or made a new video. Life in Europe was much more intense and rough this trip. I was here a week and my husband went into the hospital not once but three times over the month. I spent half my time here in the hospital or doctor's offices or procedure rooms. 

This has been a cycle - a loop we can't escape - or can we? What I realize now is really I have zero control over any of this. I am aware of a lot of things that my husband can choose to stop this loop - but I can't make him do any of that. 

To watch someone you love choose something that is not going to make them healthier or feel better on a consistent basis is difficult for me. Is it for you? Knowing all I know and being aware even in my body of what is wrong with him and knowing what would be a contribution - I can only suggest anymore he do it and watch. 

This is a big lesson for me to learn - truly detach and let him handle his own stuff. We all do things that serve us...

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Choosing You First 6 June 2019 - Questioning


Here we are once again in a space of uncertainty and questions. Anger, sadness, and a lot of other emotions all mixed up in my body. Am I numb or in a space of allowance of what is happening?

This week has not been easy - what started out as mostly positive news from doctors on Monday then led to emergency room visit and hospitalization by Wednesday. And in the Netherlands if you do not question, you do not pay attention to what is happening and do not advocate for yourself - not a lot gets done. So many things have not been done this week and today I started asking more questions.

It feels like this loop will keep repeating until we learn lessons. I don't know what Johan's are but I see one of mine is speaking my truth - always. Not fearing that he will resist what I say or not back me up or whatever he has done in the past. Just speaking my truth and let him choose. NO FEAR.

I've been living in fear far too long when it comes to some of this and his reaction. I do not have to...

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Choosing You First 20 May 2019 - Needs


May is a month of intense energy and tremendous transformation. Energy workers are talking about this and many of us are feeling it.

In times like this it is helpful to step back and allow some things to shift and release. It is less stressful for us. Stop fighting the change. 

It is also helpful to find new ways to care for ourselves - meditation, exercise, nutrition, nature, hobbies, could be anything. 

One of the big transitions happening for me is around the word/theme NEED.

On the caregiver side of life - asking for what I need from my husband has not really happened in a long time. I shoved my needs aside to care for him and not add more stress to his situation. Now that he is stable, I made a list of my needs and am exploring before we discuss - what can I ask him to fill and where can I have them filled elsewhere?

On the mom side of life. My oldest graduates high school this week and my twins 8th grade. Seeing my baseball guy have a terrible game this weekend and...

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Vulnerability & Sitting With What Can’t Be Verbalized


I'm a bit early on this week's video and was late on last week's, which you can watch on our page or YouTube or website, but things are shifting. I've been in a space I've had trouble verbalizing things or shifting out of - but know I'm on the edge of a cliff and it is time to jump. Time to drop the old stories and bless and forgive the patterns that have been - they no longer need to BE.

Time to move into this next phase with no fear. But honestly I'm scared. Even in my dreams things are showing up.

Fear isn't real but lately it feels real. Part of me is scared to be excited about much or know that things are getting better. Scared to believe anything better is possible. Deep in my soul though, I know it is. However when you think what you feel will not be understood by those closest to you - it makes it hard to be vulnerable and share.

I've done a lot of journaling the last week on many topics - dumping it all out of me. Looking for things to pivot on and be grateful for.


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I Bring Dead Guys Home Book Launch

Available on Amazon with full color photos. (Affiliate link).

I never envisioned in my wildest imagination, a life like the one I have. Who creates a life like this on two continents? Who transforms their reality, business, and life, multiple times in only a few years? Who sticks around when the unimaginable happens right after you meet someone?

Jennifer Holik chose a new path in June 2012 when she moved out with her boys and filed for divorce. She did not expect that six months later, when she acknowledged her spiritual gifts, her entire life would transform. Several dead guys, primarily World War I and World War II service members, had already shown up in Jennifer’s world. Many others entered her life at the exact moment they were required. Listening to their whispers, Jennifer followed the energy and created a life and business no one she knew had dared to create.

Travel through time and space, across the ocean, and through Europe, where love knows no boundaries. On...

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Choosing You First 10 April 2019 - What Can You Receive?



That is a difficult word for many people to grasp. You mean I do not have to give all the time? I am allowed to receive from others?

Yes. You are allowed to receive from others and the universe. In fact, the universe wants to gift to you so many things that would contribute to you creating your life, fulfilling your dreams and wishes, and helping you grow. IF you are willing to receive.

Yesterday I was supposed to release my memoir and do some FB Lives and other things. The universe and my body had something different in mind. I got sick overnight Monday. I received all sorts of feedback about my memoir over the last two weeks, participate in a webinar that provided some interesting awareness about the memoir and my work, and a healer friend died which shook my universe.

Listening to my intuition and the energy, I chose to wait a week to launch the book.

Honestly, a little feedback shook my world and caused me to question almost everything. Questioning is a good thing in...

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Choosing You First 1 April 2019 - A Controversial Question


I preface this article that the primary question posed in the article and video may be controversial or even offensive to some. How you react is based on your belief system. My role is to ask questions to help people consider other possibilities for their lives.

Recently in a caregiver group I am part of, a woman lost her spouse. Actually, this group seems to have a high rate of spouses dying in the last few weeks. Each day I see a new post that someone has crossed over. The woman who caught my attention in a big way asked this question. 'Who am I now without him?'

Being who I am, this question shocked me. Then it brought a lot of awareness.

As a woman, mother, wife, caregiver, friend, and business owner responsible for helping people find the answers and closure to their family questions, I understand why she asked this question. We have all done this - wrapped up our identity into one person, perhaps a spouse. Or our business. Our children, as a parent. It could be anything we've...

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Writing Coaching and Facilitation Services Available

Are you interested in writing your family or military story? What about your memoir? Would you like to take your writing to a deeper level to create a more meaningful story? I offer one-on-one writing coaching and facilitation in which we explore what you are writing, your research, your questions and observations, and look at the deeper issues that surface.

What can I help you with?

  • See where you are blocked and help remove those blocks.
  • See what is written between the lines in your spoken or written stories, and the documents with which you are working.
  • Define and map out threads of a story and information in your mind or notes to create a writing project plan and book outline.
  • Refine your writing project from concept to draft to finished product.
  • Review research prior to writing the draft. Suggest additional sources if there are gaps.
  • Organize materials and photos.
  • Edit your book.

Would we be a good fit to work together?

To determine if we are a good fit to work together, we...

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Choosing You First 26 March 2019


This week I changed the format and title of my energy videos from My Caregiver Journey to Choosing You First. The energy of what I hope to help people create is for anyone. While I may focus aspects of each week's video on caregiving, overall I will focus on creating shifts in your life.

Please watch the video and then be sure to go "meet" Michelle Hoffman who wrote an incredible book "Life Worth Living." I started reading it and spent two hours chatting with Michelle on the phone. She is phenomenal and inspiring. I highly recommend you get her book. We will be scheduling a webinar to talk about her book and both our experiences once I finish reading it so stay tuned.

My invitation to you this week: Ask yourself and be honest, about where you are giving too much to other people, places, and things, which cause you to deplete yourself or not care enough for yourself. Then look at ways you can shift this.

As caregivers, empaths, and people who want to be of service, we often give more...

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