Recently I began investigating the concept of Ancestral Trauma and Healing Ancestral Trauma in greater depth. I have spent almost eight years focused on healing my past issues from this life and others and healing my ancestral lineage. This focus on myself has allowed me to help military and family history clients with their journey as they discover things through research that were secrets or unspoken.

Family secrets, shame, guilt, negativity, abuse, trauma, fear, and other negative-based energies create a lot of blockages in our lives. They also create grief of which we may not always be aware until someone dies or we lose a job or have some other loss.

Healing Ancestral Trauma is also a topic most family and military history researchers avoid. It's kind of a taboo subject like admitting you can hear/see/smell/touch the spirits of our ancestors or other dead. However, when we do not address our family's trauma and baggage - we continue to carry it forward in our life and pass it...

The energies are intense the last week and will continue to be throughout most of July. We have eclipses, full moons, and several planets in retrograde. It is a time to consider what is holding us back and where we are ready to commit to change.

I've had a lot of "itchy" words show up in my universe lately like DISCIPLINE and STRUCTURE and ROUTINE. Why these bother me so much I'm not sure - but I am aware if I play with them in a new way and get rid of some old points of view (POV) then my entire reality and joy will change to something greater.

As I prepare to head back to Chicago after visiting my husband in Europe, I am ready for whatever is coming. Ready to shed the old and create the new. Ready to be more of who I truly be.

My invitation to you this week: Look at what's holding you back in your life. What words or energies keep showing up that are prickly and feel yucky or you have great resistance to. Spend some time exploring WHY this is and let that go. I wonder then how...

It has been a while since I posted here or made a new video. Life in Europe was much more intense and rough this trip. I was here a week and my husband went into the hospital not once but three times over the month. I spent half my time here in the hospital or doctor's offices or procedure rooms. 

This has been a cycle - a loop we can't escape - or can we? What I realize now is really I have zero control over any of this. I am aware of a lot of things that my husband can choose to stop this loop - but I can't make him do any of that. 

To watch someone you love choose something that is not going to make them healthier or feel better on a consistent basis is difficult for me. Is it for you? Knowing all I know and being aware even in my body of what is wrong with him and knowing what would be a contribution - I can only suggest anymore he do it and watch. 

This is a big lesson for me to learn - truly detach and let him handle his own stuff. We all do things that serve us...

Here we are once again in a space of uncertainty and questions. Anger, sadness, and a lot of other emotions all mixed up in my body. Am I numb or in a space of allowance of what is happening?

This week has not been easy - what started out as mostly positive news from doctors on Monday then led to emergency room visit and hospitalization by Wednesday. And in the Netherlands if you do not question, you do not pay attention to what is happening and do not advocate for yourself - not a lot gets done. So many things have not been done this week and today I started asking more questions.

It feels like this loop will keep repeating until we learn lessons. I don't know what Johan's are but I see one of mine is speaking my truth - always. Not fearing that he will resist what I say or not back me up or whatever he has done in the past. Just speaking my truth and let him choose. NO FEAR.

I've been living in fear far too long when it comes to some of this and his reaction. I do not have to...

May is a month of intense energy and tremendous transformation. Energy workers are talking about this and many of us are feeling it.

In times like this it is helpful to step back and allow some things to shift and release. It is less stressful for us. Stop fighting the change. 

It is also helpful to find new ways to care for ourselves - meditation, exercise, nutrition, nature, hobbies, could be anything. 

One of the big transitions happening for me is around the word/theme NEED.

On the caregiver side of life - asking for what I need from my husband has not really happened in a long time. I shoved my needs aside to care for him and not add more stress to his situation. Now that he is stable, I made a list of my needs and am exploring before we discuss - what can I ask him to fill and where can I have them filled elsewhere?

On the mom side of life. My oldest graduates high school this week and my twins 8th grade. Seeing my baseball guy have a terrible game this weekend and...

I'm a bit early on this week's video and was late on last week's, which you can watch on our page or YouTube or website, but things are shifting. I've been in a space I've had trouble verbalizing things or shifting out of - but know I'm on the edge of a cliff and it is time to jump. Time to drop the old stories and bless and forgive the patterns that have been - they no longer need to BE.

Time to move into this next phase with no fear. But honestly I'm scared. Even in my dreams things are showing up.

Fear isn't real but lately it feels real. Part of me is scared to be excited about much or know that things are getting better. Scared to believe anything better is possible. Deep in my soul though, I know it is. However when you think what you feel will not be understood by those closest to you - it makes it hard to be vulnerable and share.

I've done a lot of journaling the last week on many topics - dumping it all out of me. Looking for things to pivot on and be grateful for.

My...

Whether you are a parent, caregiver, teacher, business owner, or in some other relationship where you are taking care of someone else, there can be dark days. It can be difficult to see the light.

The last week has been tough for a lot of reasons. I've found myself in a dark place and I know there is someone out there I should talk to - but I have no idea who that person is. The people I would like to talk to cannot "hear" or "receive" or understand what I need to say. So I am silent.

Silent is not always a good thing. Silence sometimes creates more worry, fear, negativity in your mind and body causing you to feel like there is no hope. It will never get better. The sun will never shine again. You have given up or lost it all and that's the end of the story. Fairy tales don't always end with 'happily ever after.' There is no reason to dream anymore because it doesn't work out anyway.

This morning I ran an errand and then my car took me to the park where I sat in the sun for a little...

I received a new book this week called A Chorus of Stones. The Private Life of War, written by Susan Griffin.

This book is turning my world upside down - in a good way! There are so many layers, shapes, and colors to her narrative that it is a book to be savored. As much as one can savor a book about war, abuse, trauma, denial, lies, not only from ourselves but our communities, governments, the world.

If you are interested in looking at the even deeper levels of your life, your family's stories, your military stories, I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book.

Warning! It is a bit traumatic and overwhelming so consider at what time of day you read it. This is not a book I can read just before bed to unwind. I only read it first thing in the morning and during the day, leaving several hours before bed for other things. This is a book you will process consciously and unconsciously when you are awake and asleep.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on it if you read it. You can connect...

Jennifer Holik chose a new path in June 2012 when she moved out with her boys and filed for divorce. She did not expect that six months later, when she acknowledged her spiritual gifts, her entire life would transform. Several dead guys, primarily World War I and World War II service members, had already shown up in Jennifer’s world. Many others entered her life at the exact moment they were required. Listening to their whispers, Jennifer followed the energy and created a life and business no one she knew had dared to create.

Travel through time and space, across the ocean, and through Europe, where love knows no boundaries. On...

Receiving.

That is a difficult word for many people to grasp. You mean I do not have to give all the time? I am allowed to receive from others?

Yes. You are allowed to receive from others and the universe. In fact, the universe wants to gift to you so many things that would contribute to you creating your life, fulfilling your dreams and wishes, and helping you grow. IF you are willing to receive.

Yesterday I was supposed to release my memoir and do some FB Lives and other things. The universe and my body had something different in mind. I got sick overnight Monday. I received all sorts of feedback about my memoir over the last two weeks, participate in a webinar that provided some interesting awareness about the memoir and my work, and a healer friend died which shook my universe.

Listening to my intuition and the energy, I chose to wait a week to launch the book.

Honestly, a little feedback shook my world and caused me to question almost everything. Questioning is a good thing in...